I remember my childhood as being generally happy and can recall experiencing some of the most carefree times of my life. But I can also remember, even more vividly, moments of being deeply frightened. As a child, I was truly terrifiedofthedark and getting lost. These fears were very real and caused me some extremely uncomfortable moments. Maybe it was the strange way things looked and sounded in my familiar room at night that scared me so much. There was never total darkness, but a street light or passing car lights made clothes hung over a chair take on the shape of an unknown beast. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw curtains move when there was no breeze. A tiny creak inthefloor wouldsounda hundred times louder than in the daylight and my imagination would take over, creating burglars and monsters. Darkness always made me feel helpless. My heart would pound and I would lie very still so that ‘the enemy’ wouldn’t discover me.
Another childhood fear of mine was that I would get lost, especially on the way home from school. Every morning, I got on the school bus right near my home - that was no problem. After school, though, when all the buses were lined up along thecurve,IwasterrifiedthatIwouldgeton the wrong one and be taken to some unfamiliar neighbourhood. I would scan the bus for the faces of my friends, make sure that the bus driver was the same one that had been there in the morning, and even then ask the others over and over again to be sure, I was in the right bus. On school or family trips to an amusement park or a museum, I wouldn’t let the leaders out of my sight. And of course, I was never very adventurous when it came to taking walks or hikes because I would go only where I was sure I would never get lost.
Perhaps, one of the worst fears I had as a child was that of not being liked or accepted by others. First of all, I was quite shy. Secondly, I worried constantly about my looks, thinking people wouldn’t like me because I was too fat or wore braces. I tried to wear ‘the right clothes’ and had intense arguments with my mother over theimportanceofwearingflatsinsteadofsaddled shoes to school. Being popular was very important to me then and the fear of not being liked was a powerful one. One of the processes of evolving from a child to an adult is being able to recognise and overcome our fears. I have learnt that darkness does not have to take on a life of its own, that others can help me when I am lost and that friendliness and sincerity will encourage people to like me. Understanding the things that scared us as children helps to cope with our lives as adults.
Why would the author scan for familiar faces in his school bus?
